There is a fine line between substance abuse and being addicted. If you can’t stop using at a moment’s notice without serious intervention, you may have moved past abuse and be addicted. Becoming addicted can be a scary thought, but the hardest part is realizing you have a problem. 

If we believe someone close to us is addicted, what can we do? Oftentimes realizing that action needs to be taken is the hurdle to overcome. 

Karen Lewis, a licensed addiction counselor, about how this confusing issue can be addressed “Alcoholism and addiction are a ‘family disease’, that is, when one person in the family is drinking or using drugs, the entire family is affected, almost as if it is ‘contagious,” she says.  

And Karen is right, addiction affects not just the person addicted but everyone around them because their actions and behaviors affect the people in their household and in their life. 

“Imagine having a disease that is unconsciously trying to destroy you, and one of the main symptoms of the disease is it tells you that you don’t have a problem. The family can see this destruction, but the afflicted individual can’t. The struggles are baffling for everyone….’ Why are they doing this, they know better?’ The addict is baffled as well … ‘Why did I do that, I know better?’ These lead to ups and downs and unpredictable moods and behaviors including manipulating, lying, selfishness, inflated ego, martyring (poor me) and even stealing and cheating.”

This leads to stress on the whole household or family because the person who is addicted is letting their problem get the best of them without trying to get better because they don’t even realize it yet. 

“When an individual is unwilling to do anything for themselves, the best you can do is seek help for yourself” Lewis continues.

“You have to ‘detach with love,’ which means you detach from the behaviors but not from the individual themself. With this understanding, you can honestly say to them ‘Because I love you I am _________,’ and fill in the blank with whatever consequence you are letting them deal with or action you are taking to seek help for yourself.”

You can learn more about how to deal with an addicted love one on our Loving An Addict post here. 

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